Golf Humor
Top ten ways to tell if you are too old to play golf
By Carson Cockman
Mar 17, 2005, 13:20

10. You canít get your walker out of first gear to find your ball after you tee off.

9. The other members of your foursome are paramedics.

8. Your caddy has developed a new medical technique that he discovered by using a golf cart battery to jumpstart your computerized pacemaker.

7. You nurse has to have Geritol introduced into your intravenous drip for you to proceed to the back nine.

6. You reschedule your tee time so as not to conflict with your prostate surgery.

5. You have to readjust the fit of your favorite, checkered polyester golf pants because the waist is rubbing your armpits.

4. The airline to your oxygen mask interferes with your back swing.

3. You pay off your deed of trust to the burial plot beside the green on number 18.

2. Your pallbearers, out of respect, replace the divots from your funeral, and then find two more people to constitute a pair of foursomes.

1. And the number one way to tell you are too old to play golf is:

Your haint (for non-southerners: ghost) appears at the clubhouse bar, orders a round for the house, toasts your own memory, and vanishes as the barkeep hands over the tab.

© Copyright 2004 by Carson Cockman.