In these "new age" times, I have now heard everything in "new religions.”
While I am not seriously considering joining, I feel that such a new thing would maybe help us to understand where we fall short in the old one.
It is called The One True church of the Golf Ball. We believe that the universe is simply an 18 hole par three...the earth is a golf ball and one day God is going to get teed off.
On judgment day, you are picked up in a heavenly golf cart and taken to either the pro shop or the parking lot...if you get my drift. Sundays are holy; you must spend as much time as you can on the greens...if you can get a tee time. The are no collections. There are only nominal green fees. Betting and tippling are only moderately frowned upon.
The only time you must allow someone to play through is when it is The Cosmic Greenskeeper or His son the course pro . The only unforgivable sin is not picking up the ball and moving on after 14 strokes.
There are unlimited mulligans...and you only are considered a pro if you can beat par. No healing is required because there are NO handicaps.
Strange as it may seem, it has it's appeal...and may only be surpassed by the real thing or maybe The One True Church of Major League Baseball...it boggles the mind.
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Reprinted with permission of writer.
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